ADHD and Executive Functioning: Making Sense of the Chaos
For most of my life, I thought I was just bad at being an adult.
I’d set reminders and forget to check them. I’d sit down to pay one bill and somehow end up watching a two-hour documentary on the history of bread. My to-do lists? Masterpieces of organization that never actually got done.
And then there was the crippling frustration—the deep knowing that I was capable of so much more, but feeling like my brain refused to cooperate.
That’s the thing about ADHD. It’s not just about getting distracted or being hyperactive—it’s about executive dysfunction, the behind-the-scenes system that’s supposed to help you plan, prioritize, and follow through.
If you’ve ever felt like your brain is running on 50 tabs but someone took away the mouse, you’re not alone.
This is ADHD. And it’s time to talk about what’s really going on.
What Is Executive Functioning?
Executive functions are like your brain’s command center—the processes that help you:
- Remember what you were just doing (working memory)
- Stop yourself from blurting out that thought (impulse control)
- Adapt when things don’t go as planned (cognitive flexibility)
- Break down big goals into manageable steps (planning and organization)
For most people, these functions run smoothly in the background. But for those of us with ADHD, it’s like the project manager quit, and we’re left guessing what’s urgent, what’s important, and how to even start.
How ADHD Hijacks Executive Functioning
For me, executive dysfunction feels like time doesn’t exist the same way it does for other people.
I don’t just forget deadlines—I lose the feeling of them until they’re screamingly urgent. The concept of “I should do this now so I don’t suffer later” makes perfect sense intellectually, but my brain doesn’t register the urgency until I’m in full-blown panic mode.
Here’s what that looks like in real life:
- Working memory? What’s that? I walk into a room and forget why I’m there. I write down a brilliant idea and immediately forget where I put the note.
- Impulse control? If I think it, I might say it. If I see it, I might buy it. If I plan to go to bed at 10 PM, I might end up deep-diving YouTube until sunrise.
- Task management? It’s either hyperfocus for six hours straight with no breaks or I can’t even start because it feels impossible.
What Actually Helps?
After years of trial and error (and a lot of frustration), I’ve found strategies that actually help me manage my executive dysfunction.
1. Body-Based Practices (Like Tantra Techniques)
Here’s what no one told me about ADHD: regulation starts in the body.
My brain struggles with self-directed control, but when I use movement, breathwork, or sensory engagement, it’s like I finally have an “on” switch for focus and follow-through.
Techniques from the Tantra ToolKit, like:
- Breathwork to shift my nervous system out of overwhelm.
- Somatic movement to discharge pent-up restlessness before I need to focus.
- Mantra and sound practices that help me transition between tasks without losing momentum.
If you’re wired for dopamine crashes and sensory overwhelm, traditional “just use a planner” advice won’t cut it. You need tools that engage your body first, then your mind follows.
2. Externalizing My Brain
I treat my executive function like an outsourced job—because my brain isn’t doing it reliably on its own.
- Visual reminders everywhere (because “out of sight, out of mind” is real).
- Body-doubling (working alongside someone to stay on track).
- Timers and alarms (because “just remember” is a lie ADHD tells itself).
3. Gamifying Boring Tasks
ADHD brains hate monotony—we need novelty and challenge.
- Timed challenges (Can I clean this room in 10 minutes?)
- Reward systems (Finish this, get a break).
- Changing locations (Work at a café for a “new task environment”).
4. Acceptance & Self-Compassion
The hardest lesson? ADHD isn’t a moral failing.
If I forget something, it’s not because I’m lazy—it’s because my brain processes priorities differently.
If I need tools and structure, it doesn’t mean I’m broken—it means I’m learning to work with my brain instead of against it.
5. Medication & Therapy (If Needed)
I avoided ADHD medication for years because I thought, “I should be able to do this on my own.”
Spoiler: I couldn’t.
For many people (myself included), medication helps restore baseline executive function so other strategies can actually work.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) also helps train new executive functioning habits—but for ADHD brains, CBT + body-based regulation is often the best combo.
You’re Not Broken—You Just Need the Right Tools
ADHD is frustrating. Executive dysfunction can feel like you’re constantly failing at the basics of life.
But here’s what I know for sure:
- You are not lazy.
- Your potential is real.
- Your brain just works differently.
By understanding executive dysfunction, we can stop fighting our brains and start working with them.
What About You?
- What’s your biggest ADHD struggle?
- Have you found tools that actually help?
Drop a comment below—I’d love to hear what’s worked for you!
And if you’re looking for body-based tools to help with focus, energy regulation, and daily structure, check out The Tantra ToolKit—because sometimes traditional ADHD strategies aren’t enough.